Because I haven't did one of these in awhile....

Wednesday Whatevers
http://wednesday.shadiggy.com

September 29, 2004
1. Why does mankind feel the need to claim and posess? because people likes to Dominate over stuff.
2. Why does the cost of living rise? because the Jackasses people votes into office, making taxes goes up and in turn makes business charge more for products and services so we have to fork out more money for those products and services, Thus rising the cost of living. ;)
3. After gaining power, what else does one get?if your in the U.S. Then one of the following will probably happen.
1) asasination
2) BJ's by ugly women
3) Kicked out of office
4) or else you can be like Prez. bush, jr and become a dumbass that likes to blow people up! (oh wait, he always liked to do that ever since he was governor of Texas)

~Michelle
http://www.fiare.net

And Where does it end?
hmm,
I'm on the verge of losing my job because well Some days I'm so depressed I can't manage to roll out of bed, its hard enough making the dreaded phone call into work to tell them I won't be gracing them with my presence. Some days I know will be bad because I can sense anger building up inside of me and I haven't even rolled out of bed yet. So I call in because I know If i show up someone will be punched in the eye, Days like that I like to steer clear of ALL social Situations.
Its what has gotten me this far in the work force, Avoiding the days I feel Extremly Agitated, Angry, depressed, or too happy for that matter because lets face it I've been known to laugh in peoples faces about things that doesn't need to be laughed at (someone's loved one dying in a god-awful manner) But now, I've missed too many unexcused days (meaning over my 10 hour a month limit) so I got Written up. I know they are just waiting to push me out the door. and then what? Go on SSI? I really don't want to go that route..really.
I mean I would go nuckin' futs stayin' indoors every day of my life.. Believe me I know I've been there before. and I was addicted to Cocaine when I did so, I had no direction for my life. Now, at least I'm off the drugs (all DRUGS, except dr. prescribed of course) and I don't drink heavily AT ALL and i'm on the right path...I don't want to take 3 steps backwards after i struggled and worked so hard to move 1 step forward.
What is a poor pretty girl to do ;)
but blog about it *lol*

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

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From Go-Quiz.com

ITS A GIRL!

ON September 15,2004 Cadence Alana Carney was born to April Hoyle and Jon Carney (my soon-to-be Ex husband) a little girl! My boys has a little sister! yeah ppl are like telling me I should be ANGRY but WHY? I'm glad he has moved on with his life, as long as he sends the Child support that his 3 boys so rightly deserve and doesn't abandon them, then why should i be mad? Yeah I was a little upset b/c I didn't know nothing about the pregnancy until like tuesday at the court hearing for Child support but, whatever. before the girl ever got pregnant i was having vivid dreams of her having a baby girl that belonged to Jon. I'm now, Happy for them..I called her today and told her on the phone that I was happy for them.
I'm upset at jon b/c when he found out how much he would have to send, which isn't shit (67 bucks a week) he told me i was nothing but a Gold digging WHORE! that bitch!
sorry but I am still a little pissed at that.
but anyway, i'm happy for them now!
;)
Comment please.

Well, I haven't really wrote in here in a lil while so i guess I thought I would add something.
I am going to miss Stacey she is off to Basic for the Army I think...I'm really going to miss her comments!
Anywho, how does everyone like the new pic of the Sunset above instead of the Eye.
I think its pretty cool..
Nothing has been goin' on much over here, tryin' to spend more time with the cousin and i have to sneak and do it because my parents hate him. oh well...such is life!
What else? hmm,
I have my last interview Tuesday for the Cell phone company job! Please pray for me that I get it! I really need this. I can't wait to go into Mikasa and say SHOVE iT! I got another job! *lol*
My mood has been mixed lately..its like i'm cycling way fast..like one hour i'm all happy and life is fine and the next i'm seriously depressed and don't know why even and i start to cry or I get Extremly ANGRY! UGH! Sometimes I don't mind having Bipolar disorder but it has really become a pain in the ass lately.
If this job thing falls through, i may go back to the doctor and see if he would recommend me getting disability.i'm just afraid that they (DSS) will try to take my kids away from me esp. seein' i'm a single parent and all.
I dunno what i should do. I wanna work for as long as Humanly possible for me w/out actually killin' myself or someone else for that matter at work *lol*
ya know? I use to be such a lazy slob who didn't want to work but since I've become a single parent I got my priorities and responsibilities straight and I would like to keep it that way..u know? but sometimes, u have to be a little selfish and worry about your own health i guess. hmm who knows. ;0
anyway,
Peace Out! Love you all!
;)
and Michael i got somehting personal to talk to u about :)no chicken!

What Golden girl are you!?

You are Blanche!
You're just a girl looking for the certain
somebody-under every table and in every bar!
You are loaded with charm and beauty, but are
also a little self consious. Don't be fooled
into thinking that beauty is the only thing to
you! I do declare, You're words could charm the
morning dew off the honeysuckle.


Which Golden Girl are you?
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You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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Thanks guys for all the emotinal support you guys give me!!!
Everything is going okay right now, had a bad migraine today, ugh! i hate that.
oh BTW, Tomorrow i have my first phone interview for BIG NAME CELL PHONE COMPANY, I hope i so get the job. I could really use this $26,000/year job! thats double the amount i currently make and less physically straining than my job i currently have.
The Catch22 is I have to be willing to work anywhere from 7 am till 11 pm monday thru Sundays including holidays. of course i won't work all of that just avialable to work them. U see its for Customer service Rep. ;0
oh joy, but it has to be better than my current job plus with the same type of benefits i currently recieve (healthcare,dental,life,disability401k) I can Finally move out of section8 housing! and pay my own daycare expenses w/out gov't help!!!

OH yeah not to mention next week we go for a hearing about child support as well!! YAY!
but my ex ssaid he wasn't going to go probably, i told him well he will just get a warrant for his arrest then! Men can be such ASSES! no wonder i use to be such a bitch, i had to actually deal with this bozo!
glad i don't anymore, not to the full extent anyway.
now i just have to worry bout the child support aspect of it and when or if he plans to ever visit.

Mental ramblings

I seem to be cycling faster now for some reason..
This morning i was depressed and now I think i'm manic b/c I'm not even tired and its after 5 am.. my mind is starting to race, i have other things on my mind but i feel like i can't share them with everyone thats not for here, i will not post that here. I will not bore u with my life or excite u with it... whatever is whatever....
Theres this man on TV he looks Gay as a 3 fuckin dollar bill *LOL* but he looks like he is tryin' to play it off, but i have very good gaydar and its beeping loudly! *LOL*
damn infomericals, thats all thats on, on a sunday mornin' around 5ish. hmm, if i was catholic i would go to early morning mass but i'm not catholic. and neither do i have any desire to be catholic. so why are we discussing this? oh yeah cuz i stupidly brought it up haha.
My cousin told me its pyscotic and mental of me to write my feelings down in a blog for the whole world to read..fuck him! I love doing this, i love sharing myself with everyone *teehee* he should know thats how i've always been...i do love him. i do...sometimes i feel like the only reason he comes over is to get on my computer tho. and talk to strange men....yeah i know your gaydar is going off now..*lol*
but for real....
I love doing this and i'm not going to stop b/c my Brother/bestfriend/cousin says its mental. I know i'm mental..I don't need to be told that *LOL*

and I wanna be myself, and nobody else...;)

nice talkin to steve

It was nice talkin' to you last night, Steve! It is always good to not feel so alone in this god forsaken world! ;)
I know what i said may not of made much sense b/c my mind was racing faster than i could get out what i was tryin' to say *lol* i hate when that happens.
but anyway, i hope you don't think i was a total dork or loser for that matter. ;)

a lot of shit has been going on with me lately, I tried to commit suicide Sunday night/Monday morning and I didn't wake up till Tuesday after overdosing on my medicine and a few other pills i found in my house. I know I know that was tottally dumbass of me, but I was triggered by a friend's passing and I not knowing it until a year later
I'm just lucky to be alive right now. I feel better but who knows how long my happiness will last this time....

please don't bitch me out for this i've had enough bitching from my parental figures...but hell whatever....

;)
love you all!

*LOL* oie! that hurt! *lol*

You are the low self-esteem loser that uses sex as
an equalizer. Having sex with countless random
people makes you, despite your many flaws, feel
equal to those you view as elite, but in all
actuality your just the person they go home
with at the end of the night when all the good
lookin people have already left.


What Annoying Person Lerks Inside of You?
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Its 5 am and where am I? up on the computer b/c i'm not tired...fixing to do some laundry, take the garbage out and take a nice long shower before the babies wake up to start another WONDERFUL day in the neighborhood....*singing* its a wonderful day in this beauty wood, would you be mine, could you be mine, would you be..my neighbor *done singing* Hello Neighbor ...*lol* sorry i had to do it...*LMFAO* haha..
I talked to my ex-husband's G/F today she is doing great! er.. really i guess it was last night now *lol*
I wish i could call and wake up Chris but i can't cuz like he would tottally be mad at me probably.....ewww..so thats why i'm filling up my blog...;) lucky you..whoever reads my shit...*lol*
U know what i realize! SEX IS SO WONDERFUL and YET SO POWERFUL!! u gotta be careful when u use sex to get a man ;) LOL why did i just say that? LOL I dunno...
oh well...anyway did I tell you umm the sky is like blue and the grass is green and everything inbetween is shit! *lol* sorry that was stupid wasn't it..

what am i saying...
Ha I know

------- leave me a comment! *LOL* EVERYONE ITS TIME TO PLAY CHECK IN SO NOW u WILL CHECK IN AND TELL ME THE FOLLOWING :
how often do u visit me?
and WILL U VISIT ME AGAIN?
hehe
aight! NOW THAT REQUIRES EVERYBODY EVEN THOSE WHO ARE PASSING THUR the blogger system *lol* hehe.

The most important ones that matters in this world is me, my kids and my "Bestfriend, brother, cousin" CHRIS! :)

I Know a lot of ppl probably doesn't understand whats going on in my home life. but i've been forbidden to SEE/SPEAK/Hangout with my cousin. We got so close a few years ago and now that he is back in town to stay, i'm not "allowed" to be around him anymore!? I'm 25 years old and thats just a damn shame.
Well won't they have a heartattack when I DECIDE to BLOW this town and they realize WHY!
Some days I am so freakin' depressed b/c I feel like I can't live like I want to ..its like i'm hiding from it until my parents aren't around and then for a brief yet paranoid moment i'm happy ;) completely and truly happy :) I was uncertain for sure before b/c I use to be heavy into drugs and alcohol and wasn't sure if I was happy because of that or what it was exactly but those two dangerous vices are no longer in my life and i must say, it was my cousin that made me truly happy! i know that may sound weird or whatever but I don't care how it makes me sound. He is the one person that has my back and loves me, even tho. i may have done some fowl shit in the past...that doesn't matter anymore, what matters is the now and the future...
and the way I see it is, it gives me one more reason to continue my life.
I want to go to Avalon ( i know they changed there name but i forgot the name) again and see the drag show again or something! that was pretty damn fun except the part where he got his wallet stolen outside and lost both of our Driver's Liscense and the last bit of money for a cab. Good thing we ran into one of his old friends otherwise we would of been walking that night!
I haven't eaten much all day, I ate like 2 slices of Red Barron Pizza like all day...i'm really trying to shed more weight so I will look HOT when we go back clubbing. Hopefully by new years eve I will look tottally rad or something!!
GEEZ louise! its 1:36 AM and i'm not even the least bit tired.
Chris has already called me about 4 times tonight to let me know where he was and stuff...
Okay I don't know what else to say other than I LOVE my GAY cousin ! :)sorry i figured i'd point that out incase anyone was thinkin' i was havin' some sorta weird relationship with him or something, its not like that....but i am like his faghag or something i guess ;)

WTF

What the fuck is wrong with me! yesterday I was so happy it was like someone stuck a candle up my ass and set me ablaze! I had so much freakin' energy, i stayed up until 5 am this morning and it wasn't even on the computer just sittin' here thinking about what i want to do with the rest of my life!
Today I'm sad and partly jealous of someone who I wish would/could spend more time with me. I wish I can be in his arms 24/7! but i can't :(
I feel like i'm in prison cuz my parents try to control, who I hang out with and what not...and they don't even live here but they still act like they have control over me! ugh! i hate that feeling....why don't they just FUCK OFF!
Yessterday before my cousin came over, my mom popped her head over here and it really fucking made me turn from happy to depressed in 3.5 seconds! I thought about killing myself last night..i can't take living my life in secrets from my mother and having to hang out with people (namely my cousin) behind her back. don't get me wrong, i will not quit hanging out with my cousin because of this, unless i'm givin a good reason too...and my mom hating it is NOT a good reason.
URGH! sorry i had to get that out.